It's been a hard time for me and the start of a new year gave me a perfect chance to start over. I've been closer to Allah more than ever and alhamdulillah I feel happy. The best way is to leave everything to Allah he'll decide everything because I know his plans for me are better than my dreams. I've been through a lot of difficulties in life-- losing a person that I loved all my heart. Getting my heart breaks and having no one there to share with. Haih, a lot of tears had been shed. But I know, whatever I do, I'll never get him back for the person that I fell in love once. I'm afraid if he will hurt me again that he won't be the same again. To love someone takes a lot of courage cause you're giving your heart to him/ her. It ain't something easy that everyone can face. And what you think loving someone is easy? It is but once he's found someone to replace your place once, you'll be heartbroken to the dead. That you thought he/ she was the one that you thought that he/ she will be your future halal partner but then they didn't. That you thought you'd spend the rest of your majestic life with than incredible person that completes you and gives you butterflies in your belly but you're not going to anymore, it's hard. And that one particular time you thought what was your mistake and you thought about those memories you've had together in the midnight when the star was shining bright but your sky was dark with tears and memories that's about to fade away forever. You promised to yourself that you will not ever stalk him/ her but deep down you know, you could never do that cause you still love him/ her. And he/ she will not notice you anymore nor he will not look at you the same way anymore. Hes' has someone new is his life- someone who's better than you, someone who's 100x more perfect in physical and mental qualities than you are. But there you are- wishing and wanting him back.

A few weeks passed by, your life was at the most dark pit you've ever imagined. Walking through the darkness all alone in thought that there will be light that could curve a smile on your face back again but no- there's nothing. Until one day, your heart accidently realized- why do you have to wait for him/ her to come back to you when you know you can never afford the same pain again? Why do you have to pro-past-death when he/ she is out there enjoying his/ her life? Why? He/ she has moved on without you. He/ she has left you the moment when you need him/ her the most. Why do you have to hate a person that you once love? Loving does not mean that that person has to love you back or suffering seeing someone happy- when you love someone, you don't have to say it. Tell Allah s.w.t. what your heart feels, what you want and what you will work for- and that is seeking for Allah's forgiveness and getting back to the right path. You may not realize but through it all, Allah s.w.t. had always been there for you and will always be there for you when nobody was. Quraan is your best friend because It will be the one to help you in the afterlife. And if you truly love him/ her. You should let him/ her go and start over your life. Fix what's wrong with you, improve yourself and note that Allah will never dissapoint you, ever. Cause if both of you are meant to be, you will be together. And for me, hating is immature. Allah s.w.t. dislikes people with hate. And it's a sin to break a bond with a muslim. Rasullullah s.a.w. will keep smiling even if that person is the most evil and horrible person on the universe, he will still be nice and smile to them. So, make Rasulullah s.a.w. as our example.