The feeling of unwanted rest in my bones. People ignoring me. Making me feel as lonely as hell. Unwanted. That's just the right word to describe it. Tears stroll down the apples of my cheek. I feel so lonely, to the depth of my heart, I feel so...unwanted. Life doesn't seem fair to have people judging you and having the ones you love locked away from you. Yes, I may seem easy on the eyes, but deep down inside, sometimes I have insecurities too. I have untold secrets, the darkness in this soul. People keep telling me, that I'm one of the strongest girls they've met. No, you're wrong. What is even there to proof that I'm strong? That I've lost the man I love once to another woman? That I've disappointed my parents many times that even the fingers on my delicate hands could not count? I cry at night remembering all the darkness. The cloudy midnight sky where the sun no longer shines. What is there to proof? I cried every single day when I lost the man I love and knowing he has someone else. Thinking that I could not take it anymore. Till the day I cried blood I thought, maybe I should let go. Every step I make, people will judge me. Every move I look forward on doing is wrong to others. My intention was pure. Honest. The look in my eyes tells the truth. When I do the best and be the best, I will just simply lose it. I don't understand why people like to take advantage of other people. I don't understand why they want to hurt other people. I don't understand why the good ones in this world are hidden while the bad ones succeed. Unwanted- is when I feel I've done enough, enough of this tiring shit I go through everyday. The shit I did to help others is just not good enough. People will always want more and more. Nothing is ever enough for them. Why can't they accept and adapt? Why can't they learn the mean before even ever saying the word? Suicide seems legit. But it's stupid. Sometimes I do wish the people around me to stop and ask themselves. Allah has granted my wishes, people has helped me in times of need, wives has been there for everything, Quran has showed and tell the truth about this world...but, have I ever said thank you and repay them? Have I even ever feel thankful for what I have? Do I think Allah likes me? Do I think Allah likes that He's always there when I need him, but I'm never there when He needs me? Take a step back and think. I feel sad. Unwanted. Alone. Unhappy. I need love. I need a spirit to live. Looking back was a terrible mistake. But I'm glad now, and thankful I have people who're still there for me. Alhamdulillah.