The feeling of unwanted rest in my bones. People ignoring me. Making me feel as lonely as hell. Unwanted. That's just the right word to describe it. Tears stroll down the apples of my cheek. I feel so lonely, to the depth of my heart, I feel so...unwanted. Life doesn't seem fair to have people judging you and having the ones you love locked away from you. Yes, I may seem easy on the eyes, but deep down inside, sometimes I have insecurities too. I have untold secrets, the darkness in this soul. People keep telling me, that I'm one of the strongest girls they've met. No, you're wrong. What is even there to proof that I'm strong? That I've lost the man I love once to another woman? That I've disappointed my parents many times that even the fingers on my delicate hands could not count? I cry at night remembering all the darkness. The cloudy midnight sky where the sun no longer shines. What is there to proof? I cried every single day when I lost the man I love and knowing he has someone else. Thinking that I could not take it anymore. Till the day I cried blood I thought, maybe I should let go. Every step I make, people will judge me. Every move I look forward on doing is wrong to others. My intention was pure. Honest. The look in my eyes tells the truth. When I do the best and be the best, I will just simply lose it. I don't understand why people like to take advantage of other people. I don't understand why they want to hurt other people. I don't understand why the good ones in this world are hidden while the bad ones succeed. Unwanted- is when I feel I've done enough, enough of this tiring shit I go through everyday. The shit I did to help others is just not good enough. People will always want more and more. Nothing is ever enough for them. Why can't they accept and adapt? Why can't they learn the mean before even ever saying the word? Suicide seems legit. But it's stupid. Sometimes I do wish the people around me to stop and ask themselves. Allah has granted my wishes, people has helped me in times of need, wives has been there for everything, Quran has showed and tell the truth about this world...but, have I ever said thank you and repay them? Have I even ever feel thankful for what I have? Do I think Allah likes me? Do I think Allah likes that He's always there when I need him, but I'm never there when He needs me? Take a step back and think. I feel sad. Unwanted. Alone. Unhappy. I need love. I need a spirit to live. Looking back was a terrible mistake. But I'm glad now, and thankful I have people who're still there for me. Alhamdulillah.
The topic says it all. Why do we even need to create chaos over politics? Aren't PRU- 13 is suppose to be clean and a way for all of us as a country to vote for our upcoming Malaysia? Aren't it suppose to be something that would help our country at peace and harmony? What's happening to all of us? Every person has their rights and beliefs to vote for any parties they want. It's their rights. Why do we have to be so busy body to critic a person for what they believe what's best for their country too? We're all Malaysians and we're suppose to be working together but look at us now, how do we educate youngsters while you yourself is not educated? Look in the mirror and reflect yourself. You are no better than anyone else to judge them for what they believe. And as a muslim also, we have our own rights. PRU is suppose to help a country like ours to maintain it's peace, harmony and care for each other. What happened to the moral values you learnt in school? Do we really need to mock or make up stories about other people to win? No, Allah is just. He knows it all, why not just leave it to Him after we knew we have done our best? Hurting other people feeling is a common but big sin we all make. Allah may forgive you, but in need of that, that person him/herself needs to forgive you first. Let's all be honest here, yes, everyone wants to win, but can't we just play it by the book? Why can't we behave like a true muslim? What happened to our religious beliefs? Think people, think before you act. As said by a source from Quran, thinking is gives you more reward than doing other thing. Because through thinking, you may know what's right and wrong. What you really need and want. So, is thinking hard? At first yes. But later on, you'll live a clean healthy life and respected for what ever thing you choose to be. So, as 1 Malaysia, we're suppose to work together to achieve greatness, not dividing our country into groups and hating each other. Please take note that what you do is what you get. If you want your future generations to play by the book and with maturity, then, you too must do so. Peace upon be you. xoxo
